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Take A Break From Scientific Research


Posted At: 11 September 2008 14:10 PM
Related Categories: General, Retailers


The main focus of the news this week has been about this ‘big bang’ research that’s been going on over in Geneva. For those of you that have actually been in a black hole over the last few days, some scientists are trying to recreate the first billionth of a second after the earth’s creation by whizzing some protons around tunnels underneath the Alps.


This, in my opinion, is valid research; sure, a few nutters (ok, ‘rival scientists’) around the world thought that the experiment might bring about the end of the world, but as it goes the machine was switched on and we are still here, so hopefully the study will bring about some valuable results when its all said and done.

Some research that I don’t feel is as valid, however, is the 9 months that it took Asda to figure out that a combination of oats and honey would provide a biscuit that’s able to stand up to the rigorous ‘dunking’ habits of the British nation.


Apparently inspired by comedian Peter Kays infamous “dunk me! Again!” sketch, Asda spent 9 months – yes, 9 months – testing their recipe against competitors’ best sellers, such as McVities Ginger Nuts, Digestives, Hob Nobs and Rich Tea. Well, any fool will tell you that you don’t dunk a Rich Tea! They’re like kitchen towel – in taste, texture and absorbency – however I would’ve thought a Hob Nob would hold its ground? I digress. Point is, I was taught how to make flapjacks at school when I was about 13, and it took me about 3 seconds to deduce that the ultimate dunker recipe would consist largely of the main flapjack ingredients of oats and honey. So why did it take Asda – the chain that brought us such gems as ‘Asda Whatevers’ (Love Heart sweets stamped with words like Minger, Chav, Proper, Bothered and Whatever) – so long to figure this out?

Apparently some of the testers were construction workers, so maybe this has something to do with it? You see, the cookie has been designed as an oblong for the maximum mug-biscuit fit ratio, and honestly, when was the last time you heard of a builder getting the measurements right first time!

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The opinions expressed herein are the personal opinion of the author and are not intended as statements of fact and do not represent the view of SnapShop or Pragma in any way.


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