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Councils are rubbish aren’t they? I know quite a few people who work for my local council (names and area both withheld, of course), and they are some of the nicest, smartest people I’ve ever met, so why – God why – are councils (as a collective) so boring, and how can they get it so incredibly wrong some times?
Last week, it was reported that Westminster City Council have asked Debenhams to stop playing Christmas carols to people outside their store; and this week, I found out that Chesterfield Council have spend £20,000 of Government funding – meant to tackle unemployment – on new Christmas lights!
It’s like that children’s rhyme, There Was A Little Girl; when they were good they were very good indeed, but when they were bad they were horrid. Only less ‘horrid’, more ‘stupid’.
And where is the balance!?
On the one hand, you have Debenhams, who are, at their own expense (although not altruistically) trying to inject some Christmas cheer onto the streets, only to have a poncy London council pour water all over their fire. And on the other, you have a council so completely overtaken with Christmas spirit that they’d rather buy £20k’s worth of sparkly [“oooh look at the pretty”] lights than get the scroungers/unemployed off their streets!
Why is Christmas so difficult to get right!? I think its simple, see…
RE: decorations and their consistent ugliness; observe the following rules and you can’t go wrong…
1. No neon
2. No tinsel
3. No fake trees (take note Northampton) or snow
4. What looked ‘modern’ in 1985 no longer looks as such
5. Make sure all the bulbs work
6. And that they are not formed in the shape of the baby Jesus, or other such religious tosh, that may or may not offend followers of other beliefs
As for budgetary limitations…
Maybe we should all combine this new ‘lets recycle everything’ attitude with Christmas and give our streets a modern, tramp-chic look this year?
Paper chains made from cereal boxes, glitter made with crushed up old glass bottles, papier-mâché trees constructed from magazines and coat hangers! Stick an energy saving bulb inside one of those big 4 pint milk cartons, string a few together and you’ve got yourself some 21st century fairy lights! Magical. All that would be needed to complete the scene would be Boris Johnson, atop a giant dynamo bike, peddling his little argyle socks off trying to keep the streets lit in a truly eco-friendly way. All through December. None stop. With no shower breaks.
...now isn’t that a much prettier picture!
Seen any ugly Christmas decorations in your shopping areas this year? Let us know, leave a comment below!
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